Hello all,

We haven’t reviewed the reviewer’s reviews since way back in 2008 and there’s a good reason. All the theater fare that’s out right now is either too good to play in your local multiplex or $10 shit. The highest rated movies include things like Slumdog Millionaire (95%), Frost/Nixon (90%), and the Wrestler (98%) while your local theater is filled with things like Bedtime Stories (23%), Seven Pounds (28%) and The Day The Earth Stood Still (20%). And keeping with tradition, last week you added two bad for one good. We added Bride Wars (12%) and the Unborn (12%) and gained Gran Torino (75%). Here’s the snapshot.

BRIDE WARS

“Bride Wars is hell at its most banal -- like watching a dull sitcom with a broken remote.” Rick Groen Globe and Mail

“As vacuous and disposable as Hollywood comedies come. I'd say it's preferable to rabies, but having never had rabies, I can't be sure, can I?” Kevin Williamson Jam! Movies

“It's apathy incarnate. It's the Bride of Floppenstein, a C-minus, a soggy, sad thing floating in a lukewarm limbo of sentimental mediocrity.” Colin Covert Minneapolis Star Tribune

THE UNBORN


And just because bad reviews are so much funnier than good ones, here are some quips at the expense of The Unborn.

“At last we are making crappy horror films entirely on our own, without having to rip them off from Japan! U-S-A! U-S-A!” Eric D. Snider EricDSnider.com

“Could have just as easily been called "The Un-scary," "The Uninspiring," "The Unoriginal," or "The Unexciting". Whatever you do, just un-plan to see it this weekend.” Brian Tallerico HollywoodChicago.com


GRAN TORINO

Now then, Clint Eastwood returns to the actor/director’s chair/spotlight in a film about a cranky old guy who loves his car but can’t help getting into trouble when gangs threaten his neighbors.

“Oh my god, it's finally happened: Someone made Hey You Kids Get Off My Lawn: The Motion Picture.” MaryAnn Johanson Flick Filosopher

So, it’s a film for silver haired seniors?

“It turns out Clint Eastwood is Batman!!!!” Willie Waffle WaffleMovies.com

Or not. Somewhere in between these ideas is the justification for its high rating.

“Eastwood plans to go on making more movies, but it's doubtful any will be as satisfying a career culmination as Gran Torino.” Marjorie Baumgarten Austin Chronicle

Got it. This film marks the end of an era…until the next one.

PAUL BLART: MALL COP

But enough about the past, let’s focus on the now. This week is full of movies that don’t deserve your money. For example, this poster is likely to determine your interest in this film. Funny how this film is a comic infused Die Hard clone and the original Die Hard featured Bruce Willis back when he was just a comedian (ala Moonlighting, Blind Date, etc). So, will Kevin James emerge as the next Bruce Willis?

“Somewhere beneath its mediocre comedic trappings, there’s a decent action movie trying to fight its way free.” Luke Y. Thompson L.A. Weekly

Okay, so maybe?

“[The film] too often settles for easy, lazy jokes, most of which revolve around either food or running into stuff.” Glenn Whipp Los Angeles Times

Sounding a little less likely.

“I suppose the food equivalent would be that nacho cheese that comes in a can with little chunks of jalapeño mixed in.” Peter Hartlaub San Francisco Chronicle

And now we’re talking about food?

“[Has] such obviously humble intentions that busting on it is a bit like harassing the junior high school outcast who just wants to eat his tater tots in peace.” Jen Chaney Washington Post

Are these veiled fat jokes or just starving critics? Who’s to say and at 30% positive and/or who cares?

DEFIANCE

Onto a film that features James Bond fighting Nazis (Defiance 54%). Since it has never been possible in Bond’s Cold War playground, this film brings Daniel Craig together with a group of Jews as they fight back against Hitler.

“The story, in other words, is pure Hollywood gold, full of opportunities for stirring speeches, ethical quandaries, lessons about tolerance and humanity, and violence against Nazis.” Josh Rosenblatt Austin Chronicle

The idea sounds so inspiring that the film can’t be bad.

“It's difficult, perhaps impossible, to make a gripping 137-minute epic about people standing around under the trees.” Mick LaSalle San Francisco Chronicle

“What is puzzling is how Edward Zwick has taken an extraordinary real-life story about a handful of people who defied huge odds, and turned it into an utterly conventional war movie.” Liam Lacey Globe and Mail


Given the films you have to choose from it’s kind of amazing…nay, astounding, that the best reviewed film this week is...

MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D
70% positive for a 3D horror movie? Never mind that we’re nearly a month away from the date as the title was only ever an excuse to ride on the blood-soaked coattails of a holiday (ala Friday the 13th, April Fools Day, Halloween, etc). So...

“Body parts are lopped off. Pick axes are stabbed at the camera. There's even a completely naked girl chased by the killer, in glorious 3D. This movie spoke to me.” Kevin Carr 7M Pictures

“This is why 3D was invented.” Nigel Floyd Time Out

“It is one of the best times I've had at a horror movie in years. JimmyO JoBlo's Movie Emporium



Whatever you see this weekend, I hope you enjoy it as much as kids enjoy Christmas. Happy viewing.

PDJ

Hello all, I hope your Christmas is full of laughs, good food, and your full capacity of joy. Best wishes and I'll be back with more movie roundups at the start of next year.
CHRISTMAS ROCKS!

“Klaatu barada nikto!”

Pop quiz hot shot, what is the story with the gibberish? Why is it referenced in classic science fiction literature, TV, and film including Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Tron, Star Wars, Farscape, The Simpsons, Galaxy Quest, Men In Black and Army of Darkness? Why is it listed as the title of Mozilla Firefox’s page about:robots? And why has it been called “one of the most famous commands in science fiction”? A long answer would take a thousand words, so here’s the short answer.



Yep, in 1951 “Klaatu barada nikto!” was immortalized in science fiction in The Day the Earth Stood Still. When the alien robot Gort intends to destroy Earth, uttering this phrase saved us all. Now, 57 years later, I am excited to see how many technological travesties I can avoid by applying its linguistic mojo. So, while I’m screaming at vending machines and parking meters, listen to what people have to say about the remake.

"Since Keanu Reeves has all the expressiveness of a toaster, why is he starring in the new The Day the Earth Stood Still as human-looking alien Klaatu rather than giant robot Gort?" Nick Schager Slant Magazine

A fair question. Probably because his movies continue to make money off his toasteriffic acting abilities.

Beware my Act-Fu!


"Many fans of the original will hate it. A pity. Because it redecorates the tale while remaining true to its theme. Keanu Reeves plays Klaatu with all the expressiveness of a wok. I have never seen a wok better portrayed." Victor Olliver Teletext

Were reviewers hungry while they watched this movie? I love kitchen implements as much as the next guy, but I don't daydream about toasters and woks when I see Keanu. Enough about Ted Theodore Logan, what about the movie?

“The Day the Earth Barely Even Notices We're on the Brink of Doom, and Why Don't Those Damn Hippies Just Shut Up About Global Warming Already?” MaryAnn Johanson Flick Filosopher

First Of All, You Need To Review Capitalization Rules. Second Of All, The Reason Hippies Won’t Shut Up (And Shouldn’t) Is Because Reducing A Global Problem To Something Only Hippies Worry About Spells Doom For Everyone.

"Fox has sucked all the color out of The Day The Earth Stood Still..." Uncle Creepy Dread Central

I see what you did there. Since the original was black and white, it's ironic that a modern version would lack color. Clever.

Even the original poster is superior

"Like a skydiver whose parachute never opens, plummeting towards an ending that basically says, 'Humans: Awful at Environmentalism, Great at Hugging.'" Matt Pais Metromix.com

Hey, at least we’re great at something. Does the movie accomplish any other backward successes?

“If you're looking for chuckles this holiday season, bypass the miserably unfunny Four Christmases and go where the real comedy is -- The Day the Earth Stood Still, a clumsy, moronic remake of Robert Wise's brilliant 1951 classic.” Alonso Duralde MSNBC

There's nothing funny about being a toaster

Sometimes unintentional comedy is better than the real thing. When I saw Punisher: War Zone last week, I laughed harder at one scene than I have at most comedies. Just to clarify: being a remake of something good does not make it something worth spending your holiday dollars on (The Day the Earth Stood Still - 24%).

"[A] very, very bad film." Tim Robey Daily Telegraph

“I hate myself for sitting through the entire film.” Devin Faraci CHUD

Self-loathing aside, this is the type of movie designed for people with low expectations. Also, it’s the only major mainstream movie being released this weekend (unless you count Nothing Like the Holidays (51%)or Delgo (14%). So, desperate filmgoers should avoid plunking down what’s left of their Black Friday piggybanks on a movie that might do THIS to you:

“Add to that some unimpressive CGI and a bizarrely abrupt ending and you have the day your buttocks went to sleep, your brain melted and your will to live evaporated.” David Edwards Daily Mirror [UK]

If this movie melts you brain, I recommend suing the theater and/or screaming “Klaatu barada nikto” at the projector, cash register and any other piece of technology responsible. What’s the worst that could happen?

PDJ

Whoops!

With Thanksgiving last week, Christmas a few away and New Years right on Santa’s heels, this week ends up with a case of middle child syndrome – and the movies reflect that. If you only have a passing interest in what comes out each weekend, then you probably haven’t heard of this week’s entries. We’ve got a music history biopic, a zany dark comedy, and a gore-fest actioner that’s already been made (twice) and only one of them made it over 25% positive.

First up, Cadillac Records (69%). Beyonce Knowles continues to insert herself into music history, following up Dreamgirls with this story of Chess Records, which helped redefine music in the 1950’s and 60’s with artists such as Chuck Berry (Mos Def), Muddy Waters (Jeffrey Wright), and Etta James (Beyonce). Records is the only chart topper out this week, so give us some of the greatest hits.

“Magnificent performances and soul-shaking music make up for some narrative stumbles and dubious fictions in this film about the legendary Chicago record label.” Nell Minow Beliefnet

Soul-shaking music. Sounds good – literally.

“If Cadillac Records had a theme song, it would be Zeppelin's 'Communication Breakdown' or House of Pain's 'Jump Around.'” Matt Pais Metromix.com

Hm. Since those songs were picked for narrative commentary rather than tonal accuracy, let’s assume that regardless of historical accuracy, we should enjoy the music.

“Just as in real life, no matter what else is going on in these musicians' lives, the music temporarily makes everything much better.” Tasha Robinson Chicago Tribune Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Awesome. Anyone want to say something inappropriate/irrelevant?

“The cast all looks and sings the part -- and Knowles sure fills out James' tight dresses -- just make sure your theater popcorn is coated with grains of salt.” Amy Nicholson I.E. Weekly

Thanks for the popcorn advice. Moving on to Nobel Son 24% - A dark comedy staring Alan Rickman (the bad guy from Die Hard, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Quigley Down Under, Harry Potter, Sweeny Todd, etc.) who plays an academic who wins the Nobel Prize. Only, as a reward for his fame, someone kidnaps his son and our favorite bad guy decides not to pay the ransom. Despite the rating, Rickman playing a bastard might be the only reason I need to see this movie.

“Although sometimes too self-consciously odd for its own good, the film is at times rollicking good fun, with Alan Rickman having a ball offending everyone within earshot as the brilliant, self-centered Eli Michaelson.” Bill Goodykoontz Arizona Republic Top Critic Icon Top Critic

If you’re a fan, there’s your reason for taking a chance. For everyone else: what went wrong?

“The director, Randall Miller, appears to be trying to cross a bad Elmore Leonard thriller with a bad indie-festival family-angst comedy.” Owen Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly

Any time you have to use two hyphens to describe the genre, you’re already in trouble. So the movie has come confused ideas about its genre. How bad could that be?

“Nobel Son was one of my most unpleasant filmgoing experiences of 2008 (and in a year like this, that's saying something).” Alonso Duralde MSNBC

Wow. Despite seeing Eliza Dushku acting like a sexed up poet and Alan Rickman hamming it up as an uber-bastard, this one sounds like a stinker.
And speaking of stinkers, last up is Punisher: War Zone 16%, which is aiming for ‘so bad its good’ but ended up closer to ‘pure shit’. But, rather than let negativity win, let’s see if we can put a positive spin on one of the lowest scores of the month.

“Punisher: War Zone is 100 minutes of people getting shot in the face - bad Italian stereotypes, non-existent narrative, and people getting shot in the face.” Bill Gibron PopMatters

Well, ‘Yay!’ for people who like seeing people get shot in the face. It was so impressive it got mentioned twice. What else you got?

“A picture of deliberate stupidity and derivative artistry, Punisher: War Zone is so atrocious it makes professional wrestling look like a whimsical afternoon with Shakespeare in the Park by comparison.” Brian Orndorf BrianOrndorf.com

Yay for people who like professional wrestling enough to compare it Shakespeare!

You're probably better off with the source material


“Gore-drenched actioner is guaranteed to draw fans of wretched excess like moths to a nuclear holocaust.” John Anderson Variety

Yay for fans of the Holo….hm. Never mind. If I complete that sentence I might end up unhappy with my afterlife vacation plans. But is it fair to criticize a film for being economical. After all, it’s not like this movie is showcasing any big stars/directors.

“You used to be able to depend on a bad film being poorly made. No longer. The Punisher: War Zone is one of the best-made bad movies I've seen.” Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times

Crap. Okay, but Ray Stevenson was great in Rome. He’s got to be at least passable here too right?

“Junk, pure and simple...Stevenson [is] a beefy, taciturn fellow with all the charisma of Steven Seagal and an emotional range that goes from A to somewhere just shy of A-.” Frank Swietek One Guy's Opinion

Jeez. Last chance. This Punisher movie can’t be as bad as the other ones…

“This atrocity is even worse than the 2004 version, if such a thing is possible, though I have to grudgingly admit that while it is as foul, vile and stupid as all get out, it is still somewhat better than the Dolph Lundgren version.” Peter Sobczynski eFilmCritic.com

Yay for Thomas Jayne fans and Dolph Lundgren haters! Okay, since almost 2 in 10 people liked it, let’s end with a little bit of sugar in this shit sandwich.

“On the plus side, Punisher: War Zone has one of the all-time great B-movie last lines: 'Oh, God, now I've got brains splattered all over me!'” Clark Collis Entertainment Weekly

Yay?

Punish
Da
Jugular


This week's choices - I've already decided

I normally try to get these blogs posted the day the movies come out, but since Holiday movies don’t subscribe to traditional schedules, I’m a day late. And looking at the scores of this week’s movies, I think they all could have stayed in the oven a little longer.

Our top rated stinker is a coin flip: Australia - 51%. The top actors from down under (Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) bring you a classic romantic epic. First up, the ick.

“Swells of emotion & panoramic stampedes fill the screen; however, meandering scenes in between have been cut out at the seams so often, you'll be wandering what it all means.” Ross Anthony Hollywood Report Card

Right now, you’re getting a C for spelling. If you wander why, please see me after class.

“Like the kangaroo that goes from a newcomer's sightseeing delight to dinner meat with the sudden crack of a rifle shot, Australia hops all over the place.” Larry Ratliff San Antonio Express-News

No kangaroo’s were harmed during the writing of that review. I checked. Anyone else want to draw an inappropriate connection to a native Aussie animal?

“Australia is so damnably eager to please that it feels like being pinned down by a giant overfriendly dingo and having your face licked for about three hours: theoretically endearing but, honestly, kind of gross.” Liam Lacey

The nay-sayers say nay and the yay-sayers say?

“A wildly ambitious, luridly indulgent spectacle of romance, action, melodrama and historic revisionism, Australia is windy, overblown, utterly preposterous and insanely entertaining.” Ann Hornaday Washington Post

Okay. The yay-sayers enjoy preposterous indulgent (and inaccurate) historical romances. But, is windy a compliment?

“You half expect a bloodied and battered Ben Affleck to be running shirtless in slow motion while an Aerosmith ballad blasts forth like cover fire from above. Hopefully Fosters beer won't sue, but it's true: Baz Luhrmann is Australian for Michael Bay.” Mike Ward Richmond.com

Funny, the previews made me think Australia was Australian for Far and Away, but now it sounds like an Aussie Pearl Harbor or Armageddon. Wow, I’m getting more confused as I think about that. Let’s move on to a movie that is likely to be confusing and simple-minded at the same time: Transporter 3 - 35%.

There isn’t much point in summarizing the plot or characters of this franchise, because everything about these movies is an excuse to crash a car or punch someone. Both the good and bad reviews sound the same.

“It's kinda fast, it looks cheap, it's definitely out of control.” Alex Markerson E! Online

“Transporter 3 is so bad it's good, and it knows it.” Tom Long Detroit News

While you’re trying to figure out which is which, lets wrap up with a truly insightful question.

“Who knew a nice blazer could be used as an improvised nunchuck?” Stephen Garrett Time Out New York

Who indeed? Now then, last up is a film that should be ashamed of itself for coming in behind a movie that makes pin stripes sound sharp and dangerous: Four Christmases - 26%.

It’s a family comedy with academy award winner Reese Witherspoon and teen choice award winner Vince Vaughn plodding through the holidays by hating on relatives, but eventually learning that families are the best present of all. Sounds like rotten eggnog mixed with extra sugar and bile.

“It really needs to be stamped Don't Open Until DVD.” Stephen Whitty Newark Star-Ledger

So you’re saying we should watch it eventually? Why not ‘Don’t Open Ever’?

“It’s not a classic, but it is the best seasonal comedy Hollywood has given us in years, so thanks!” Heart 106.2

Really? That’s either a reviewer with low standards or a studio plant/payoff. Let’s hear from the haters again.

“Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon play the leads. Do they convince as lawyers or lovers? No. Do they convince as space aliens trying to infiltrate the human race? Yes.” Charlotte O'Sullivan

That’s better. The alien angle sounds promising. Anyone else have a pitch to make the movie more interesting?

“Witherspoon and Vaughn are physically ill-matched. She has never looked tinier, while the always gigantic Vaughn has put on so much weight that I half-expected the big plot revelation to be that he'd eaten her twin sister.” Christopher Tookey Daily Mail [UK]

Fascinating. Now then, do we really need four Christmases? Wouldn’t three be enough?

“Four Christmases is two Christmases too many. Two I could survive. But four of them? Nah. Call me Scrooge. Bah humbug.” Gary Wolcott Tri-City Herald

We’ve got two. Do I hear one and a half?

“One and a half Christmases is about all that's worth celebrating in Four Christmases.” Claudia Puig USA Today

Sold. Now then, let’s wrap this up with one final reason why you’re better off watching your old worn out VHS tapes of The Grinch and Christmas Story.

“The difference between the average unfunny comedy and this one is the difference between Grandpa telling you knock-knock jokes and Grandpa telling you knock-knock jokes with his bathrobe open as his hand creeps up your thigh.” Kyle Smith New York Post

Uh…happy holidays?

Pat
Does
Jolly

Buffy and Angel.
Lestat and Louis.
Blade and swords.

Not every vampire movie is horror, but the ones that aren’t are romance. This might explain why we haven’t seen any vampire romantic comedies or westerns. In fact knowing that Twilight didn’t open on Halloween tells you which side of the romanticism – cannibalism spectrum were dealing with. If you’re not a reader, you may have missed the young adult craze surrounding Stephenie Meyer’s quartet of vampire lustfests, but you may have trouble ignoring the film.

Twilight has already made Fandango’s all time list of pre-sold tickets and encouraged a generation of young girls to dream of being kidnapped by anemic male models. So we know it’s going to make oodles of money, but does it suck?

“Twilight is often a lot of fun to watch -- the atmosphere of wet green trees and subtle danger, the gothic breathiness of doomed romance, the way all the vampires have better hair than anyone else -- and seems to give its intended audience what it wants.” Moira MacDonald Seattle Times

Should the audience expect to walk out lusting for vampires or supernatural styling gel?

“Invest any spare cash you have in companies that deal in hair gel. I have a feeling this film is going to be huge.” Peter Hartlaub San Francisco Chronicle

Got it – thumbs up for the hair. Clearly the film’s stylist deserves an endorsement deal. What about the debate between book loyalists and average moviegoers?

“Director Catherine Hardwick leads her young cast through the story's soap opera elements with honest respect for the material.” Colin Covert Minneapolis Star Tribune

Sounds like book lovers will be happy.

Ze book


“This entire adaptation was carried through by [the] wonderful Catherine Hardwicke, who took a shiny little turd and transformed it into a watchable, slightly enjoyable film.” Brad Miska Bloody Disgusting

So for people who think the book is a shiny turd, the result is slightly watchable? I can’t tell if that’s praise.

“Soul-searching looks between young lovers can be fine--but when mutually-emphatic eyeballing stands in for a plot, it's insufferable. Bring a thermos of espresso. And an alarm clock.” Kimberly Gadette LivePDX

Yeouch. Okay, I know that’s not praise. Anyone else want to hop on the ‘stake the vampire’ bandwagon?

“The term 'meh' was added to the dictionary this week, and just in time.” Matt Pais Metromix.com

Vampires give the best piggyback rides!


Yeah, but it’s a love story, which means film’s ultimate goal is to twang the heart-stings.

“The movie version gives really good swoon.” Chuck Wilson Village Voice

All right. How good are we talking? Like weak in the knees or hyperventilating Beatle-mania teens?

“WHAT WAS THAT???That 'thunk' you just heard wasn't a shift of the earth's core. No, it was jillions of women, younger and older, swooning over the movie 'Twilight.'” Linda Cook Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)

Wow. That is good swoon. Okay, so it does hair and swooning well, but the rest is a question of taste. Even if Twilight isn’t entered into the Nosferatu canon, it may be the most popular vampire story of the decade (even with its 44% positive rating). Other vampire romance novelists beware - this is the new status quo.

“Your move, Anne Rice!” Nick Schager Slant Magazine

Pamper
Demonic
Juveniles

Yay! I'm a sex symbol again!

Whew. You weren't so frightened of the subject line that you avoided reading this. Awesome. Now then, a handful of movies open this weekend and they all are sharing reviewer love. Maybe critic happiness is tied to weather; hence the Oscar season of holiday movies. Hmm. Anyhow, you probably won't hear much about Slumdog Millionaire (90%) directed by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 days later) or A Christmas Tale (93%) which tells the darkly comic story of an estranged son returning home for the holidays. Chances are you don't care about these movies because this weekend is all about Bond. And how did Bond's latest outing of espionage and action do? Pretty well actually (Quantum of Solace - 69%).


The consensus seems to be that it's not as good as Casino Royale, but there is disagreement on how close it came. It’s a true sequel (picking up where the previous installment left off) which is rare for Bond. Here Bond mourns Vesper by killing all the people responsible for her death. Since revenge is dish best served as cold as a penguin's ass in the dead of winter, let's hear how icy and grim Bond got this time around.

“Revenge is a dish best served with bullets, high explosives and fireballs. In QoS James Bond orders the revenge buffet, deluxe.” Kyle Smith KyleSmithOnline.com

I like my revenge comparison better.

“Still having a bad day in Quantum's leap into radically chilling ruthlessness, that homicidally gifted 007 pursues without the least hesitation, revenge as a dish best served with a cold Martini.” Prairie Miller NewsBlaze

I’m sticking with penguin ass. So lots of BOOM! and POW! with a little less quip. We get it; he’s tortured and really good at hurting people. Bond goes thuggish with a grimace rather than a smirk. Enough of that, let’s play a game. It’s called good review, bad review. Let’s see if you can tell Quantum of Solace praise from criticism.

Yep. Quantum was a real short story from the original author.


“While I'm most definitely disappointed with the film- I still enjoyed it once I accepted the fact that it bares no resemblance to the Bond franchise that I know and love.” Chris Bumbray rec.arts.movies.reviews

You’d think disappointment would be a deal breaker, but it wasn’t. Thumbs up.

"Bond's one-liners are replaced by stoic stares. The flirty martini has been traded in for self-hating binge drinking. And even 007's bedroom shenanigans are condensed to a mere quickie." Mike Ward Richmond.com

Sounds pretty bad, but it wasn’t. While the ladies might disagree, this guy didn't let any of his problems get in the way of liking it. Another thumb aimed at clouds.

Yep. He still looks like this.


“The result isn't bland, but it's not exactly Bond either.” Joe Neumaier New York Daily News

‘Not bland’ sounds ‘not bad.’ But it was. Thumbs down.

“The 22nd Bond film too often seems like an old friend on the wrong anti-depressant: still the person you love, but the rhythm's off and the precious moments fewer and further between.” Peter Canavese Groucho Reviews

He was right on the fence (2.5 out of 4), but still good enough to hitchhike.

“Forster could craft Quantum of Solace into a thoughtful rumination on revenge and what it does to the soul or he could blow stuff up. Guess what he does.” Willie Waffle WaffleMovies.com

The director must blow stuff up really well, because ol' Willie Waffle liked it.

“So jam-packed with stuntwork, shootouts, and standoffs that the conspiracy-oriented plot can barely get a word in edgewise.” Bill Gibron Filmcritic.com

Apparently the plot was important to Billy because this one was negative. Well, you get the idea. Most critics have some problem with it, but it succeeds at giving us more of what we got with Casino Royale. The problem is - the idea is a little less fresh now. As a final thought, let’s end with someone who’s really got their finger on the most important aspect of a believable Bond and rebooting the franchise so it resonated with modern sensibilities.

“Since this is really the origin story of a man who kills people for a living, a darker tone makes total sense. I mean, really...do you want to go back to jet-packs?” Jenna Busch UGO

Only on DVD. Take care all.

Predict Justice Damn-it.